April 30, 2006

Having a problem with the scanner, could shoot a picture of my sketch but don't have the energy. Last night and today have been difficult, Gram went through another bout of dementia. They are so hard when she gets angry or fearful in them. She wanted to call the police because "she could not abide with the goings on in the house." there were no "goings on" there wasn't even very sound sleeping going on. The later part of her unsettled state came on after I went to work. Hopefully, she will sleep tonight and wake up okay. Some times the dementia is almost pleasant, when she visits and talks to folks she hasn't seen in years or who have passed away. Her blindness and deafness leave her so isolated from the rest of the world and the activities that she used to enjoy. Most of the time anymore, she doesn't want to make decisions but when she is having a "Day" I see all of the strength that I remember her having when I was a child. I feel guilty when I get frustrated with her, I know she doesn't choose to be like this and what she thinks she hears and sees seems so real to her, I am sure she can't figure out what my problem is that I don't see/hear it. Anyway, I did draw, when I can focus on a drawing, it helps ease the tensions. Tomorrow will be a new day.


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